"My husband is gay. Can our marriage survive?"
Your marriage isn't over just because your spouse is gay.
There are good reasons to end a marriage. This doesn't have to be one of them.
Get the Guide and Start to Move to Steady Ground
If you're on this page...
You've likely been hit with news that changed everything.
- Maybe you're here because it's the first time you've allowed yourself to type the words "my husband is gay" or "my wife came out".
- Maybe your spouse just disclosed their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Maybe you stumbled upon something that raised painful questions.
- Maybe you've had a suspicious ache in the back of your mind.
The ground beneath you doesn't feel steady anymore.
- You don't know who to turn to. Â
- You don't know how your marriage can survive or even if it should. Â
- You wonder "How could I have missed this!"
You may feel:
- confused
- scared
- alone
- angry
- shocked
And you may be wondering what this means for your marriage or committed relationship.
Questions spin in your mind:
- Was my marriage even real?
- What does this mean for my marriage, my family, my future?
- How am I supposed to function when my mind won't stop replaying what I just learned?
- If we stay together, does it mean a sexless, disconnected existence?
- What happens next?
- Where do I even turn?
If you're asking these questions,
you're not alone.
Hi, I'm Heidi.
I know how disorienting it feels when your marriage isn’t what you thought it was. When my husband came out after 18 years of marriage, I had no idea mixed-orientation marriages even existed.
Maybe that's a new term to you, too. And maybe it's as scary to you as it was to me.
But there’s good news!
As a couples therapist and as a straight spouse, I've lived this journey personally and professionally.Â
I've dedicated my work to helping individuals and couples in complex relationships who've said the same words you may have whispered to yourself:Â
"My husband is gay...what now?"
I've put my own marriage through the wringer so you don't have to. My purpose is to make your process less painful and more empowering.
Downloading this guide can be the first step.
Help Me Find Steady Ground →Inside you'll findÂ
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Strategies to find calm right now
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Ideas to reclaim your sense of value and strength
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Immediate action items that heal
Download this free guide toÂ
Feel Steady Again
Calm the emotional chaos and find your footing.
Trust Yourself Again
Stop second-guessing and start relying on your inner compass.
Find Clarity
See what’s next and take steps that feel true to you.
Download the Free Guide to Begin to Find Peace →These 9 tools will help you access your inner strength so you can show up where you're needed most, with your children, your work, and your daily life.
Because the world doesn't stop when you're facing a crisis.
FREE GUIDE
When Your Spouse Comes Out
9 Tools to Help You Find Your Footing
A compassionate, practical guide for straight spouses navigating LGBTQ+ disclosure or discovery.
When my husband disclosed his same-sex attraction after 18 years of marriage, life as I had known it changed forever.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now. This guide contains some foundational tools to help you find relief now.
How It Works
Step 1
Download the free guide.
Get 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery.
Step 2
Learn what’s happening inside you.
Understand your body’s and mind’s natural reactions to shock and change.
Step 3
Use the tools to steady yourself.
Apply simple, proven steps to calm your system, think clearly, and find your footing.
Learn to steady yourself, feel calm, and start living your life.
FAQs
Is my information confidential?
What if I’m not ready to talk about this yet?
What if my spouse and I are already separated (or still together)?
Can I hire you as my individual or relationship coach?
Is this therapy?
Contact Me
The content provided by Complex Couples Coaching, a division of Heidi V. Applegarth, LLC, is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition, nor does it substitute for professional mental health services.
Participation in coaching, courses, or the use of educational materials does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are in crisis or need mental health treatment, please contact a licensed therapist or emergency service in your area.