Maybe you’ve landed on this page because...
- You're in a lavender or mixed-orientation marriage and you're struggling.
- You're gay, but you can't decide if you should tell your spouse.
- You’ve discovered something about your spouse that leaves you feeling uncertain, or unsettled and you want to do what's best but you're uncertain what that is.
- You or your spouse has recently come out and you're not sure what comes next.
- You or your partner have been unfaithful and you're not sure how to recover.
- Attraction has shifted in your marriage and you don't know if that can change, or if it should change.
- You feel as though you don't recognize your spouse or yourself and you don't know what to do.
- You knew what you were choosing when you got married, but you or your partner now struggles with attraction or desire within your relationship
When desire or attraction issues arise...
in any marriage it is disorienting. But when they show up in a mixed-orientation marriage, it can be easy to make assumptions.
For instance, if attraction shifts or disappears, it can be easy to blame same-sex attraction. The truth is, same-sex attraction may be a factor...but it might not be.
And when you're making life-changing decisions about your marriage and family, you don't want to base them on something that might be true.
You want to be confident in your choice.
Maybe you've tried
- changing yourself to be more of what your partner wants
- talking to your partner and trying to get them to change
- being more sexually open
- forgiving mistakes and moving on
- everything you can imagine to increase closeness and connection
Only to have more distance and space
You're not alone! We all do the things we think will help, but the truth is...
It's not you, it's the framework!
Often, what we learn about relationships is the exact opposite of what facilitates desire later in marriage.
Where do I Start?
Listen
To the Complex Couples Podcast
I'll be dropping an episode each week.
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When Your Spouse Comes Out
Get 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery.
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Contact Me
heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com
The content provided by Complex Couples Coaching, a division of Heidi V. Applegarth, LLC, is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition, nor does it substitute for professional mental health services.
Participation in coaching, courses, or the use of educational materials does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are in crisis or need mental health treatment, please contact a licensed therapist or emergency service in your area.
